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Internalised homophobia is what happens when we take on anti-queer thoughts, values or attitudes as our own, in response to growing up in, or still living in, a homophobic culture.
Sometimes this looks obvious, like insults and comments from other people. Other times, it is quieter and more subtle, in the way the world around us whispers “Anybody who is different is less worthy” through advertising, social conventions, and official policies.
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Having grown up in a small country town, I have seen firsthand the impact that homophobic attitudes can have on personal development, sense of identity, and self-esteem, both in my own life and in the lives of others.
How internalised homophobia can show up
Internalised homophobia can manifest in many ways, including depression, anxiety, self-hatred, denial (such as trying to live a heterosexual lifestyle), and avoiding meaningful intimacy. It is often deeply tied to shame and to the belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with us.
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This is not a minor issue or a personality flaw. It is a fundamentally harmful experience that grows out of hostile or invalidating environments, and it is something you deserve to heal from.
Why support matters
It is easier to make progress in healing from internalised homophobia when you are not doing it alone. Support can come from affirming friends and allies, and it can also come from working with a professional therapist who understands the pain of being made to feel lesser just for being who you are.
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My work is strongly shaped by a focus on shame, trauma and queer identity. I am passionate about helping clients untangle the anti-queer messages they have absorbed over time and supporting them to develop a healthier, more loving outlook on their sexual identity, orientation and/or gender.
How I can support your healing
In our work together, I can help you develop skills to more confidently regulate difficult emotions, so that you feel better prepared to look at memories you may have previously avoided because they were too painful.
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From there, we use a compassionate, trauma-informed lens to explore the origins of internalised homophobic experiences, and we draw on evidence-based trauma interventions to improve your relationship with those memories.
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This work can also include exploring what you want your identity to mean, how you want to express it in your life and relationships, and what needs to happen for that to become a reality. My aim is to offer a calm, non-judgmental space where your story is taken seriously, and where your queer identity is something to be understood, honoured and, over time, embraced.