Gratitude practice - finding the richness in everyday experience

Recently I’ve been reminded of the power of gratitude from a couple of directions, and I wanted to bring them together here for anybody who stops by. There is compelling evidence that actively creating a grateful state is great for our mood, hope, mental wellbeing and stress levels, but as anyone who’s tried it has probably noticed, it’s hard to keep doing it regularly. Even the idea of regularly practicing gratitude can mean it gets relegated to the category of ‘boring homework’ in our brains (thanks, high school!).

One useful idea is to first shift from the idea of ‘practicing’ gratitude towards cultivating it or inviting it. Notice that these terms are about connecting with a process, rather than chasing an end goal (which inevitably gets stale once we’ve caught it a couple of times). Imagine yourself like a precious metal, and that cultivating gratitude is like making yourself magnetic to grateful feelings. In this sense, creating an energy which attracts grateful feelings is what we’re actually doing, and if gratitude happens to be pulled towards our experience, that’s a bonus.

One technique that I love for doing this is to choose an object in our home environment, especially one that we’re fond of (it’s easier to start this with a favourite piece of clothing than, say, the vacuum cleaner). We then bring a soft smile to our lips, and imagine a feeling of warmth towards that object, before seeing if we can name up to 3 reasons why our life is a little better for having the object in it. The energy in this process is like telling someone at a bar about our best friend or partner, talking up why it’s great to have them in our life, then leaning in to feeling that goodness at an emotional level. “I love this sweater, I get to feel warm on cold days, i think it makes my shoulders look good, and it’s emotionally comforting, like wearing a hug. Great job, sweater!”. You can choose a different object each time, and you might be surprised how nice it feels to pause and meditate on the reasons it’s great to have them in your home.

Another handy technique for practicing gratitude is the nostalgia trip, or future retrospective exercise. You simply pick a point in the future (2, 5, 20 years), imagine you’re there, and you’re telling someone about a person, or object, or time from earlier in your life (now), like you’re just realising how wonderful it really was. As your future self, you might reflect on why that apartment was really a haven for you at that point in your life, even if the landlord wouldn’t fix the leaky ceiling. Or you might start talking about a current relationship that you’re finding difficult, but from this future perspective, feel more able to connect with the good things this relationship has brought to your life, that aren’t easy to see in the here and now. Hindsight can be a powerful tool for connecting you with the things that help you feel grateful.

I could go on, but then I'd bore you, like the idea of mandatory gratitude practice. Have a go at reframing the task to inviting gratitude, and see if the descriptive or retrospective exercises are helpful for you in keeping your gratitude journey fresh.